Yeah, Those Sick, Friday Blues

I had a pretty bad day yesterday.  It was one of those days where the hits just kept on coming.  In the moment, I handled every new downturn less than admirably.  But one good thing came out of that bad day- when I got up today, I had an idea for a blog post.  Most of you know I dig blues-style rock, though I'd be hard-pressed to identify if I had a single soulful bone in my body.  Maybe my left pinkie-toe.  Maybe.  So, without further ado, and tounge firmly in cheek, I give you...

Sick Friday Blues

I woke up this morning,
Head felt like a brick
Couldn't gulp without pain
Sure enough, damn I'm sick

I got the blues
Yeah, those sick, Friday blues
Don't worry me none too much though
Just payin' my cosmic dues

Got home from the job
Thought I'd catch a quick snooze
Must have dreamt about food
'Cause I bit my tounge near through

And I got the blewth
Yeah, thothe thick, Friday blewth
Don't worry me none too much though
Jutht payin' my cothmic dewth

Instrumental- And when I write "instrumental," I mean a nice, improvised guitar solo.  Picture something from like Jimi Hendrix's "Red House" and that's what I mean.  Actually, you know what, that's Jimi on the guitar now.  There he goes, sliding up and down the fret board.  Seriously, as a songwriter of really no talent, getting someone like Jimi on lead guitar is a treat.  And I can hear you saying right now, "but isn't he dead?"  C'mon, people he's playing right there.  Keep your voices down, you'll hurt his feelings.  Dead.  Psssh.  Of all the ridic- oh wait, he's winding down, gotta come up with a third verse...

Made it to the desk
Turned the computer on
That deadly blue message told me
My computer was gone

And I got the blues
Yeah, those sick, Friday blues
Don't worry me none too much though
Just payin' my cosmic dues

Ummm, Second Instrumental- What are you gonna do, it's JIMI HENDRIX on lead guitar for pete's sake!  I'm sure not gonna tell him he can't take a second solo.  And yeah, I know, "cosmic dues" is a weird phrase, but I wanted to bring across this idea of I'd been having such remarkably good karma for so long a little bad had to come my way.  Oh, and fyi, it's customary when listening to blues to applaud after the lead takes his or her solo.  I'm not going to name names, you know who you are.  Anyway, I need to come up with a last verse to bring it (whatever "it" is) home, and I don't want to do the regular thing of repeating the first verse, but I'm having a little bit of writer's- uh-oh out of time, here goes...

Head is all clogged
Tounge ain't too thin
Laptop's a paperweight, and
I get to do it again

I've got the blues
Yeah, those sick, Friday blues
Don't worry me none too much though
Just payin' my cosmic dues...

Traditional blues finish, Jimi whaling on the guitar, furious riff from the drummer, crashing the cymbals and stomping the bass drum.  Let it build, let it build... End.

Good night everybody.  Be sure to tip your waiter.  And back up your computer.

~Scotty Mac

"Listen.  Here's the thing.  If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table?  Then you are the sucker." ~Mike McDermott, Rounders